[Vision2020] Trump awards self Medal of Honor for hypothetically saving everyone during school shooting (SATIRE)

[Ron Force]

And The New Yorker


​

Ron Force
Moscow Idaho USA

On Tue, Feb 27, 2018 at 6:19 AM, Tom Hansen <thansen at moscow.com> wrote:

> Courtesy of the *DuffelBlog* at:
>
> https://tinyurl.com/Trump-Awards-Self-MOH
>
> ———————————————
>
> Trump awards self Medal of Honor for hypothetically saving everyone during
> school shooting
>
> WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump awarded himself the nation’s highest
> award for bravery on Tuesday for hypothetically saving countless lives
> during a recent school shooting at a South Florida high school, sources
> confirmed today.
>
> The president acted with “remarkable courage” to theoretically subdue the
> shooter, according to his award citation for the Medal of Honor, and
> “reflected great credit upon himself in keeping with the highest traditions
> of the Trump Organization.”
>
> “You don’t know until you test it, but I think, I really believe I would
> have run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon,” Trump said on Monday,
> criticizing the response of police officers on the scene. “They weren’t
> exactly Medal of Honor winners, but I am, believe me.”
>
> Actor Mark Wahlberg, who hypothetically rushed the terrorists and saved
> everyone on 9/11, agreed with the president’s assessment.
>
> Senior defense officials say that soon after reports came in of a shooting
> at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., the 71-year-old
> fancifully took command of the presidential helicopter and flew it to the
> school, where he hypothetically landed before apparently running into the
> school and ripping out the shooter’s throat with his fantastically-large
> hands.
>
> Trump was theoretically covered in blood during the incident, according to
> sources. He ideally saved countless lives that day, according to White
> House officials.
>
> “Thank God our president’s ego is massive and completely bulletproof,”
> said Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.).
>
> At press time, the president was thanking himself for receiving such an
> incredible award, since it’s something he said he had always wanted.
>
> ———————————————
>
> In recognition of Trump’s hypothetical service to our country . . .
>
> http://www.tomandrodna.com/Songs/Donald_Trump/I_Got_
> Spurs_That_Jingle_Jangle_Jingle.mp3
>
> Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .
>
> "Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
> http://www.MoscowCares.com <http://www.moscowcares.com/>
>
> Tom Hansen
> Moscow, Idaho
>
>
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