[Vision2020] For you, Carl

[Ron Force]

>From Andy Borowitz:


April 25, 2011
Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair is Not From U.S.
So-called ‘Balders’ Movement Gathers Steam  
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)  – A threat to the fledgling presidential 
campaign of Donald Trump  emerged today, as a group of activists charged that 
Mr. Trump is not  eligible to hold the nation’s highest office because his hair 
does not  originate from the U.S.

The group, who call themselves “Balders,” claim that the hair-like  substance 
that crowns Mr. Trump’s head is from a foreign country, which  would mean that 
the candidate is less than one hundred percent American.

“Time and time again, Donald Trump has refused to produce a certificate  of 
authenticity for his hair,” said Leeann Selwyn, a leading Balder.   “This is 
tantamount to a comb-over of the truth.”

But if in fact Mr. Trump’s distinctive mane turns out to be of foreign  origin, 
such a revelation need not be fatal to his presidential hopes,  says Professor 
Davis Logsdon, who has studied the history of  presidential hair at the 
University of Minnesota.

“Remember, several of our greatest early presidents, like George  Washington and 
Thomas Jefferson, had hair that originated elsewhere,”  Mr. Logsdon says.  “The 
only thing that could kill Trump politically is  if his hair turns out to be 
from France.”

At a GOP event in Iowa, Mr. Trump made no reference to the Balders  controversy, 
and instead sounded an upbeat theme: “If I am given the  chance to do the same 
magic I did for NBC, America will be the number  four country in the world.”

In a piece of good news for Mr. Trump, a new poll showed a majority of  likely 
voters agreeing with the statement, “Donald Trump being sworn in  as President 
would be a great last scene in a Planet of the Apes remake.”
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