[Vision2020] Pat Robertson Explains East Coast Snow Storms

[Tom Hansen]

Courtesy of The Borowitz Report at:

http://www.borowitzreport.com

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Pat Robertson: Snow Is God’s Way of Punishing Americans Who Were Planning
to Drive to Do Something Gay

Treacherous Roads Part of Almighty’s Strategy, Says Televangelist

VIRGINIA BEACH – Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today’s
broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the
blizzard currently battering the Northeast “to punish Americans who were
planning to drive to do something gay.”

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, “Because of the bad road
conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were
planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two.”

Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area
“so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature
would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay
thing they were going to do could occur.”

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also
grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, “I think God probably
wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in
New York?”

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this
update: “It’s as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there.”

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change
and the Realist adjusts his sails."

- Unknown