[Vision2020] Armed Forces Should Be Left To The Old Farts

[J Ford]

A Friend sent me this...thought I'd share it with the Vizzie people....jic - this is all in FUN....Laugh it up!



I am
over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join the military.)



They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending18-year-olds
off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to
join a military unit until you're at least 35.



For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving
us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy.



Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is 

a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!' 

We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately 

deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.



An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up 

early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-bitch.



If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. 

In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.



Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at  and we like soft food. We've also developed
an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse
to get out of the house, away from the screaming yelling.



They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
 I can hear the Drill Sgt. now, 'Get down and give me ... er .. one.'



Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.



An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He
still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his
eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our
kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off
into harm's way.



Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us
on September 11.  The last thing an enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and
automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind
them.



If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it
secured the first night.  Share this with your senior friends. It's
purposely in big type so you can read it.

J  :]

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