[Vision2020] Bush Creates Department of Faulty Intelligence (Andy Borowitz)

[Tom Hansen]

>From "Creators: A Syndicate of Talent: at www.creators.com -

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Bush Creates Department of Faulty Intelligence
By Any Borowitz

In response to what he called a "significant increase in the amount of
misinformation about our enemies," President George W. Bush today announced
that he was establishing a new Cabinet-level agency devoted solely to faulty
intelligence.

By creating the Department of Faulty Intelligence, Mr. Bush said, "The
United States will be able to respond swiftly and preemptively to false
threats before they don't develop."

The president said that while the CIA and the NSA had both collected faulty
intelligence in the past, "there is simply too much misinformation out there
for those two agencies to handle."

Mr. Bush said that he hoped that the Department of Faulty Intelligence would
not only increase the United States' capacity to collect false leads and red
herrings, but that it would also help coordinate the sharing of useless
information among the United States' various spy agencies.

Mr. Bush used the announcement at the White House to introduce his nominee
to head up the new department, James Frey, the author of "A Million Little
Pieces."

Mr. Frey spoke mainly in general terms about the goals of the new agency,
but indicated that it would focus on "the gathering threat" posed by
Belgium's nuclear program.

In his brief remarks to the press, Mr. Frey said that he was uniquely
qualified to head the Department of Faulty Intelligence because of his "deep
roots" in the faulty intelligence community.

"I will be bringing over four decades of experience to this job," said Mr.
Frey, 37.

Elsewhere, hours after Congress demanded an investigation into the firing of
U.S. attorneys, President Bush said he would move the White House to Dubai.

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Seeya round town, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

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"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism"

- Thomas Jefferson

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