[Vision2020] Homosexuality

[josephc at mail.wsu.edu]

I found it useful, Chas! Thanks for your candor!

Joe

> I generally refuse to defend my sexuality, but this discussion has
> lingered, so right now I'm experiencing the emotion that grips me
> after listening to teenagers debate the best films of the last 50
> years.  They start with Titanic and end with Dodgeball.  They don't
> recognize the names Billy Wilder or Stanley Kubrick.  Don't
> misinterpret; I'm not denigrating the opinions of anyone on this
> forum.  On the contrary, I'm sincerely thankful for the many examples
> of thoughtfulness and eloquence I've recently encountered here,
> especially considering the controversial nature of the topic.  Still,
> my typing-fingers are turning blue -- I've sat on them long enough.
>
> I've been a sexual being since before kindergarten.  By the time I was
> six, I'd played Doctor with nearly all of the kids in a a several
> block radius.  This wasn't because I'd been molested, or exposed to
> heinous pornography.  I was just horny, for girls and for boys.  I
> didn't care then, and I don't care now, whether the cause was nurture
> or nature.  Yes, I honestly was introspective enough -- by the time I
> was eight, anyway -- to wonder what made me different from the
> majority of my friends.  However, I concluded that everything was
> okay.  Sex was fun.  I hadn't hurt anyone.  I still feel that way
> today.
>
> Things grew more complicated when I began to grapple with labels.  I
> guess I was about sixteen.  Was I straight?  Was I bisexual?  Was I
> queer?  Bisexual seemed to be the label that fit best, but by that
> time I'd realized that I didn't like being a boy, so what did that
> mean?  If I was really a girl -- and this is indeed how I felt -- did
> that make me a lesbian, when I was sexually attracted to girls?  Queer
> and lesbian seemed entirely different creatures.  I hadn't figured out
> yet that sexuality and gender were so fluid.
>
> I had experimental sex with males and females, but not any "serious"
> sex until I got married.  I didn't have any preferences, but sex with
> girls was certainly easier in a social sense.  My life as as public
> heterosexual was thus ensured, as I've always been inclined to choose
> the easier option.  I don't have any regrets.  I've been with a
> partner that I love for 24 years, which is a good thing by any
> measure.
>
> To backtrack a bit: a few years outside of adolescence (all right,
> nearly two decades outside of adolescence!), I finally came out of the
> closet.  A person that I love and respect came out to me, and I felt
> like reciprocating.  I then became involved in various GLBT
> activities, but that tapered off after a few unfortunate incidents
> involving battling egos.  I don't normally share this information, but
> I've come to trust (most of) the members of Vision2020 as
> non-judgemental and caring: yes, this is possibly naive on my part,
> but I don't know how to be anyone else but me.
>
> I do go to the Unitarian Universalist Church of the Palouse when I
> feel the need for spiritual edification.  I feel an odd kinship for
> Catholics, maybe because I've known a few gay Catholic priests, and a
> few atheist Catholic priests, and even a few gay atheist Catholic
> priests.  However, essentially, if the sanctified hierarchy of a given
> faith doesn't accept me for who I am, then I vote by not setting my
> butt in their pews.
>
> Was this rambling contribution useful to anybody?
>