[Vision2020] Words that Don't Exist, But Should

[Tom Hansen]

1. AQUADEXTROUS - Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and
off with your toes. 

2. CARPERPETUATION - The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a
piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up,
examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. 

3. DISCONFECT - To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by
blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs. 

4. ELBONICS - The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a
movie theater or airplane. 

5. FRUST - The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust
pan and keep backing a person across the room until he finally decides to
give up and sweep it under the rug. 

6. PEPPIER - The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be
walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper. 

7. PHONESIA - The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom
you were calling just as they answer. 

8. PUPKUS - The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose
to it. 

9.TELECRASTINATION - The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice
before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Take care, Moscow.

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, a drink in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO. What a ride!'"