[Vision2020] St. Valentine, etc.

[David M. Budge]

This Reason article is printed from: 
http://www.reason.com/hod/jc021405.shtml

February 14, 2005

My Privatized Valentine
A martyr for state-free marriage
John Coleman <mailto:johnwilliamcoleman at gmail.com>


Around 270 A.D.--according to one tradition 
<http://www.janeellen.com/seasonal/valenbio.html>, at least--St. 
Valentine, a Roman cleric, was imprisoned for his opposition to Emperor 
Claudius' decree that young men (his potential crop of soldiers) could 
no longer marry. Valentine performed their ceremonies anyway and was 
thrown in jail for his obstinacy. His belief was that marriage is too 
sacred a rite to relegate to the incompetence of state bureaucracy. And, 
on February 14, he was executed for that belief.

One thousand, eight hundred years later, the government is still 
confounding itself with marriage. In November, eleven states "defended" 
the institution by further defining it in law. Judges in Massachusetts 
took the reverse route, forcing gay marriage on Senator Ted Kennedy's 
constituency, and it was exactly one year ago that San Francisco mayor 
Gavin Newsom performed his unsanctioned ceremonies in the Golden State. 
In a twelve-month span, Congress proposed a constitutional amendment to 
prevent homosexual matrimony, both presidential candidates backed 
themselves into corners debating the issue, and enough political 
friction was generated to make Claudius seethe with jealousy.

But at a time when churches themselves are split on these controversial 
issues, shouldn't we ask ourselves one very simple question: Where would 
Valentine stand today?

Certainly, he would be concerned with the modern institution's 
inconstancy. In 1997 the likelihood that a new marriage would end in 
divorce was 43 percent. That same year, the median duration of a 
marriage ending in divorce was between seven and eight years--an 
eternity to Britney Spears, chump change to your grandparents. More than 
five million couples now cohabitate rather than marry, and a million 
children enter new divorces each year.

But would Valentine see this as a problem of the state or of individual 
responsibility?

For millennia, state entities have manipulated the people through 
matrimonial bureaucracy. In Sparta, marriages were often arranged even 
as sexual partners were assigned, and pedophilia was exercised as a 
prerogative of the state. The legal system of the antebellum South never 
recognized slave marriage on the grounds that "property" could not enter 
into legal contracts, and in countries from Russia to Afghanistan, 
marriage has been used to oppress women and to assert the superiority of 
czars and dictators in the ruling regimes.

As we approach the anniversary of Valentine's own rebellion and denial, 
shouldn't the nation that pioneered a popular government of the people, 
by the people, and for the people" be the one that finally stands to 
assert the pre-governmental primacy of matrimonial privacy?

It is time to privatize marriage. If the institution is really so 
sacred, it should lie beyond the withering hands of politicians and 
policy makers in Washington D.C. There should be no federal or state 
license that grants validity to love. There should be no state-run
office that peers into our bedrooms and honeymoon suites. If the church 
thinks divorce and homosexuality are problematic, it should initiate the 
real dialogue to address these problems in-house rather than relying on 
state-sponsored coercion to affirm doctrinal beliefs. And if tax-codes 
and guardianships need some classification for couples, let's revise 
civil union standards to reflect those needs.

In his second inaugural address, President Bush highlighted the 
preeminent importance of liberty and individual responsibility noting, 
"In America's ideal of freedom, the public interest depends on private 
character--on integrity, and tolerance toward others, and the rule of 
conscience in our own lives. Self-government relies, in the end, on
the governing of the self."

This Valentine's Day, let's live up to this call and spark a revolution 
in commemoration of the occasion--the very revolution alluded to in 
Bush's latest, and most eloquent speech. On February 14th, take a loved 
one to dinner. Reach out to those who are lonely. But if you really want 
to honor the martyr, join in the battle to take matters of personal 
character--matters that should precede governmental authority--out of 
the hands of the state.


John Coleman <mailto:johnwilliamcoleman at gmail.com> is a writer and 
analyst living in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.


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