[Vision2020] Re: Robin Hood
David M. Budge
dave at davebudge.com
Thu Feb 10 11:55:56 PST 2005
Joan,
I'm pleased that you slept well last night. Allow me, if you will, to
make a recommendation. I used to be the volunteer Chairman of the Board
of Chicago's largest community mental health organizations (the irony
here is crushing - but I'll leave that for another day.) Often we would
be called in on emergency cases for those poor souls having extreme
psychotic episodes. Usually we would give them Halcion to settle them
down. As our Head of Medical Services used to say "Halcion: When you
positively, absolutely, have to make the voices stop." My guess it
would even stop the freakish droning of Rush's voice. Good idea?
Excuse the pun, but introducing my daughter to The Adventures of Robin
Hood is a capital idea. She's been inattentive lately while I have been
reading her the Canterbury Tales in its original middle-english. I've
been worried about how I get past the whole dicey issue of the
cuckholder thing as well. You've given me the perfect way out. I've got
to say though, it seems reading Chaucer to an eight year old is the
prepubescent alternative to halcion. Seems to work every time. I just
don't get it.
As for Robin Hood, the way I recall the story, Robin was compelled to
retrieve money that had been taken by the tyrannical King through an
unfair scheme of taxing the peasants. Fair Hood was not "stealing
from the rich and giving to the poor" but providing a significant tax
rebate. Seems pretty libertarian to me.
I am fascinated by your notion of "gateway literature" though. This
might lead to really dodgy stuff like Adam Smith's The Wealth of
Nations, or perhaps even (gasp!) Ayn Rand. What's next? I can see it
now, having to put my poor dear into a twelve-step program to address
her adrenaline addiction from reading post-modern economic philosophy.
As my jewish friends would say "Oy, what a shandre!"
I wish I could take credit for the indecorous side of your personal
lexicon. Alas, I cannot. Your thinking I'm old enough (and I'll take
it as a complement) to have affected your language as a child probably
comes from my self-portrait as a barnacle-knotted hunchback (you know,
middle-aged). Although I wouldn't mind looking that way so much (hey,
there are worse alternatives) I'm more the human equivalent of a
nondescript American cheese sandwich - on Wonder bread - with mayo
(think of those the alternatives - chopped liver, pulled pork, chicken
with schmaltz, head cheese.) I have the kind of face that people
immanently forget. That's a blessing as far as I concerned. Especially
given MY personal lexicon and unabashed willing to use it.
Tally-ho indeed,
Dave "explitive-deleted" Budge
ps. Thanks for the tip on late night ESPN, but I've just taken my first
I.V. dose of the bee venom and HGH. I'll let you know how it works.
I'm starting to get off just now and I'm beginning to look like a Rush
Limbaugh bobble-head doll. The horror... the horror.
Joan Opyr wrote:
> Dear Dave,
>
> I did sleep well last night, but then I was on drugs. Hydrocodone,
> that is. Hillbilly heroin. Limbaugh tea. Ya'll come back now, ya
> hear? (And, no, I didn't get my dope from Mr. Limbaugh's
> housekeeper. My prescription is perfectly legal and my usage
> perfectly valid. Anyone who read my post on the dead mouse in my
> Frosted Flakes will know that I don't have a housekeeper -- Melynda's
> protestations to the contrary.)
>
> I've been giving some thought, Dave, to your daughter's comment re:
> the redistribution of wealth. "That's stealing!" While I certainly
> wouldn't accuse you of indoctrinating that innocent young tot with
> your libertarian thinking, have you ever considered exposing her
> to some classic children's literature like, say, The Adventures of
> Robin Hood? Then again, perhaps Robin Hood is a kind of gateway drug;
> just as hydrocodone leads one to think of Mr. Limbaugh (if not to
> think like Mr. Limbaugh), then perhaps Robin Hood and his merry men
> lead straight to Das Kapital? Oh, Friar Tuck, what hast thou wrought?
>
> BTW, I spent part of my childhood living in a small town just outside
> of Detroit. I think it's quite possible, Dave, that your Lake
> Michigan blue streak might have drifted across the lower peninsula and
> settled on the banks of the Detroit River. Hence, my mother has you
> to thank as well as my grandfather to blame for my colorful vocabulary.
>
> Tally-ho, my libertarian friend,
> Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
>
> PS: Oh, sorry, Dave, but the ointment won't help. You'll probably
> have to call the Bosley Clinic. If you don't know the number, just
> sit up tonight watching ESPN until ten or eleven o'clock. The Bosley
> Clinic's 1-800 number will flash across the screen at least a
> dozen times. You'll also have a chance to jot down the number for
> Enzyte should you by any chance be interested in other forms
> of natural male enhancement. (I don't know where all you applied that
> depilatory cream, and I don't want to know.)
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: David M. Budge
> Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2005 12:41 PM
> To: Joan Opyr
> Cc: Vision2020 Moscow
> Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Social Security Time Line
>
> Joan, I'm hoping you slept well last night. I've been spending
> the day daubing the soars from my overexposure to the
> extra-strength depilatory. I'm researching ways to accelerate the
> generation of my dermas and I think a combination of human growth
> hormone and intravenous bee venom may do the trick. I'll keep you
> posted since you were the impetus for my chemical self-flagellation.
>
> Anyhow, after years of living in Chicago I'm convinced about one
> thing for sure. The speed in which I am able to traverse
> cross-town traffic is directly proportional my red-faced, sputum
> splattering, invective saturated road rage. It usually comforts
> me upon arrival to my intended destination. Like the father in the
> movie A Christmas Story, I'm sure that I have "spun a string of
> obscenities that still lingers over Lake Michigan to this day."
>
> And yes, I kiss my mother with this mouth.
>
> Dave Budge
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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