[Vision2020] Message from a Christ Church Wife
Joan Opyr
auntiestablishment at hotmail.com
Wed Feb 9 23:47:25 PST 2005
I'll take that bet, Pat. And I'll win. Over the past two years, I've heard from too many of Doug's current and former Christ Church victims not to believe that this message is genuine. It rings entirely true with everything I know about the fearful, the dissatisfied, and the trapped within Doug's church.
Early on in our never-ending Vision2020 debate over Doug's actions within (and often against) this community, I objected to Wayne Fox's use of the word "cult." No more. Christ Church is a cult; it embodies the very textbook definition of that word. Members who find themselves in disagreement with Pastor Wilson and his elders must hope that they are not financially dependent upon Doug; if they oppose him publicly, then they must prepare themselves for shunning, ostracism, personal attacks and financial, social, and religious retaliation.
Doug is guilty of spiritual abuse, plain and simple. It's easy for those of us on the outside who don't believe in a covenental relationship with a particular church and/or pastor to dismiss the idea of religious retaliation, but if you're a Reformed Christian, the threat of eternal damnation for breaking the convenant is real. You don't have to be Marilyn Vos Savant to recognize psychological and spiritual damage when you see it -- or when you hear about it from multiple sources, repeatedly. This is an old, old story, and one with which I have become sadly familiar. My heart goes out to this Christ Church wife, and if there is anything I can do to help her or anyone else in her position in that church, I will.
I can always be reached via this email address or by telephone: (208) 882-8085. Perhaps it's foolish to give the rest of you loonies my phone number, but what they hey? It's in the book, and besides, if I get any crank calls, I have caller ID, and I won't hesitate to *57 your tired asses. Plus, I'll sick Jennifer McFarland on you. She's the law! (Have I mentioned how glad I am that she's joined this list? She seems to have had a salubrious effect on our recent influx of trolls, particularly Stigmatta X. Funny, that.)
Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment
www.auntie-establishment.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Pat Kraut
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 11:13 PM
To: vision2020
Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Message from a Christ Church Wife
Who wants to make a bet that this is a fake message??
----- Original Message -----
From: ChristChurch Wife
To: vision2020 at moscow.com
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2005 7:22 PM
Subject: [Vision2020] Message from a Christ Church Wife
Dear Visionaries,
I am a Christ Church wife. Of the many of things I could write, I decided in the end that what I’m about to write is the most important. I realize there’s no reason why you should trust an anonymous posting like mine but it's my hope that somehow you'll decide to read it anyway.
It’s amazing how God has been so merciful to Christ Church/Trinity members through this forum. Many of you have been such a comfort to me and you don’t even know it. It’s hard to belong to a church whose pastor treats people the way Doug Wilson does, especially those who oppose him publicly. No, it’s not hard, I take that back. It’s horrible. It’s become a nightmare. It’s shame and outrage and grief that no amount of tears can wash away. Part of me wants to write a thousand more words but I won’t waste your time. Why? Because of the glaring question that logically follows: “Then why don’t you leave that church?†I'm working on it as hard as I can. Some day I will get out but when I leave I refuse to go alone. I will be taking my family with me. I will not allow my marriage to be destroyed or my children split apart in the process. Slowly and consistently my husband has begun to heed the wo! rds I speak to him regarding Christ Church. The day is coming when his eyes will be fully open and his faith will lead the way. That is the day we’ll leave. I believe that with all my heart. It's coming. But even then, the road to recovery will be long. That's okay. I'm not deceived. My marriage will survive and we'll be fine again someday. Nobody said that only husbands are responsible to protect their families. Wives are called to do the same. Mine is also a rescue and recovery mission and you, on this forum, have been an incredible blessing in this long, difficult process.
My reason for posting today is because I want to say thank you. With all my heart I thank you for how you do your best to help open the eyes of Christ Church/Trinity people. (I dislike that word "Kirkers.") Thank you for the insight and careful observations you've brought to issue after issue concerning Christ Church. I especially appreciate how determined you are in your resolve to speak forth. Thank you for your example of courage, for exposing the tactics of Doug Wilson and refuting them. For remaining vigilant no matter how Christ Church leaders respond to you. Thank you for the humorous statements that have literally made my day so many times It’s amazing how much strength one can get from humor. Thank you for all the personal time you've given in posting. And most of all, thank you for your compassion for Christ Church wives and children and even our husbands that has comforted me time and time again. It’s been overwhelming.
I've learned so much about people from Vision 2020. Your service to the Palouse is unquestionable. People who don't even know me care about me and in their own way have tried to help me. My mind has been stretched. My world has perspectives it never had before. I’ve gained more understanding and compassion for others in ways that have made me a far better person. I don't have to agree with everything written on a post to be able to say thank you for writing it. I see in you a true desire to make the Palouse a better place to live. I see individuals trying and one by one it’s working. Thank you. Thank you with all my heart for what you’ve done for me as a person and Christian.
If I may, I would like to say a special thanks to Tom Hansen for his "Not on the Palouse" site. God only knows how many people have been spared the grief I've known because of it. For their lives sake, I thank you.
Because the Daily News, understandably, will not accept anonymous letters I’d also like to publicly thank Vera White for her brave column. She has withstood the vehemence of Wilson's world for years and done it with remarkable grace. She never ceases to amaze me with her lion's heart. Vera's example of courage and integrity in journalism has inspired me more than she’ll ever know. Even if I don't agree with every word she says, she's my hero. Thank you, Vera. Thank you forever.
Thank you, Vision 2020, for allowing me to post this.
With deepest gratitude and respect,
A Christ Church wife
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