[Vision2020] A Failure to Communicate

[Joan Opyr]

Rose writes:

>If Pope Joan moved her church headquarters from the office space in our jointly shared library into our >little red shop building, (which is a multi-purpose space), and then had the nerve to try to claim a >property tax exemption on the shop because she wrote books, articles, and edited the Auntie >Establishment website in the shop, Saundra and I would bring the same issues forward.  Oops, maybe >not, Saundra is the Bishop of Moscow, according to Pope Joan.   

>Rose Huskey

>PS  Pope Joan is not contemplating either moving to the shop or picking the pockets of Latah County >tax payers by claiming a property tax exemption.   


Who says I'm not contemplating this?  If the tax exemption currently granted to New St. Andrews and Anselm House is not rescinded, I see no reason why I shouldn't give it a try.  Come Monday morning, if NSA and Anselm House remain tax exempt, I intend to claim an exemption for the 10 X 10 space off the kitchen from which I operate The Church of Auntie Establishment.  What's more, as most of my epistles are composed in my 12 X 14 bedroom -- for divine inspiration, I like to lie on my bed and stare up at the ceiling -- I don't see why I shouldn't claim that space as well.  And perhaps the 3 X 3 shower stall in which I sing hymns like "Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble" and "Heaven's just a sin away."   

It might only save me a couple hundred a year, but what the heck?  If that's all it takes to get a tax exemption in Latah County, then I recommend that *everyone* log onto www.ulc.org and fill out the instant ordination form.  Voila!  You'll be a fully licensed, legally recognized minister.  Then, all you have to do is announce that you've opened your own church -- publishing your own work and selling your own T-shirts and coffee mugs is strictly optional -- and take your minimal information right on down to the BOE and ask for your tax exemption.  There's nothing to stop you.  Nothing at all.

Except . . . Rose.  And Saundra.  But Saundra is the Bishop of Moscow in The Church of AE, so I think there's a conflict of interest there.  (Though according to Paul Kimmell maybe it's just the "appearance" of conflict)  The other problem, of course, is that Doug Whitney, counsel for the BOE, has determined that under Idaho law a property must be used exclusively for religious and/or educational purposes to qualify for a tax exemption.  It's all or nothing, which is why New St. Andrews and Anselm House do not legally qualify.  NSA has Zume's, which is only educational if you're trying to learn about the effect of carbohydrate consumption on the human butt, and Anselm House has Canon Press, which publishes not just Doug Wilson's theological musings but also cookbooks, wine guides, and pamphlets about slavery.   

I guess it all depends on the BOE, which is meeting Monday morning at 8 am to make a final decision on this matter.  Who knows?  Maybe we'll all luck out and, through clever use of ordination, we can make Latah County property-tax free.  Hooray!  Then again, maybe I'll be forced to recognize that the use of my living room for the non-religious eating of Fritos and the non-educational watching of "SpongeBob SquarePants" disqualifies my office, bedroom, and shower from tax exemption.

Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment        Get more from the Web.  FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com
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