[Vision2020] Bush Tells Brownsville Crowd 'Estoy Latina/Breastfeeds Mexican Infant
Tim Lohrmann
timlohr@yahoo.com
Sat, 10 Jan 2004 12:31:39 -0800 (PST)
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Visionaries,
I'm deeply sorry.
TL
Friday, January 09, 2004
Real Stupid News
BUSH TELLS BROWNSVILLE CROWD 'ESTOY LATINA,' BREASTFEEDS MEXICAN INFANT
01/08/04 BROWNSVILLE, Texas
In a gesture reminiscent of John Kennedy's "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech in 1963, President George "Call Me Jorge" Bush today told a crowd assembled along the Rio Grande near Brownsville, Texas, "Estoy Latina!" ("I am a Latin American woman!")
The president made the pronouncement in conjunction with the announcement of his generous and controversial "Welcome Wagon" program, which entitles illegal aliens to a driver's license, Social Security benefits, registered worker status, a public education, a dozen roses, a chicken, a pot, forty acres of land, and a mule.
Mr. Bush, dressed in a navy blue cotton dress and understated white wool sweater in the January chill, then shocked all present when he not only kissed a baby, like all politicians do, but actually breastfed one using a temporary breast implant. The dress, sweater, and breast implant were apparently all part of Bush's second makeover courtesy of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Carson Kressley, who attended the feeding after explaining that a recent absence from the series was "all just a silly misunderstanding."
Critics immediately accused the president of pandering to the Hispanic
vote, the women's vote, the gay vote, the temporary breast implant industry vote, the fashion makeover vote, the Carson Kressley fan club vote, and the breastfeeding fetish vote.
"This is over the line," complained Democrat presidential frontrunner
Howard Dean, himself a confirmed Metrosexual. "He can take our issues, he can outspend us, he can fraternize with Ted Kennedy.
"But that breastfeeding stunt? That was a cynical political ploy if I ever
saw one."
Dean, who has merely been accused of pandering to the gay vote, the
Confederate-flag-in-pickup vote, the UN-first vote, and the
fair-trial-for-Osama vote, concluded, "How the hell am I supposed to
compete with someone who's a conservative and a liberal? A cowboy and a nursemaid? A white man and America's first Hispanic female president?"
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<DIV>Visionaries,</DIV>
<DIV> I'm deeply sorry. <A href="http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001" target=_blank><IMG alt="Feeling Blue" src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4_2_5.gif" border=0></A></DIV>
<DIV> TL<BR></DIV>
<DIV><BR>Friday, January 09, 2004<BR>Real Stupid News<BR><BR><BR>BUSH TELLS BROWNSVILLE CROWD 'ESTOY LATINA,' BREASTFEEDS MEXICAN INFANT<BR>01/08/04 BROWNSVILLE, Texas</DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE class=replbq style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid">
<DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE class=replbq style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid">
<P><BR>In a gesture reminiscent of John Kennedy's "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech in 1963, President George "Call Me Jorge" Bush today told a crowd assembled along the Rio Grande near Brownsville, Texas, "Estoy Latina!" ("I am a Latin American woman!") <BR><BR>The president made the pronouncement in conjunction with the announcement of his generous and controversial "Welcome Wagon" program, which entitles illegal aliens to a driver's license, Social Security benefits, registered worker status, a public education, a dozen roses, a chicken, a pot, forty acres of land, and a mule. <BR><BR>Mr. Bush, dressed in a navy blue cotton dress and understated white wool sweater in the January chill, then shocked all present when he not only kissed a baby, like all politicians do, but actually breastfed one using a temporary breast implant. The dress, sweater, and breast implant were apparently all part of Bush's second makeover courtesy of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Carson Kressley, !
who
attended the feeding after explaining that a recent absence from the series was "all just a silly misunderstanding."<BR><BR>Critics immediately accused the president of pandering to the Hispanic<BR>vote, the women's vote, the gay vote, the temporary breast implant industry vote, the fashion makeover vote, the Carson Kressley fan club vote, and the breastfeeding fetish vote.<BR><BR>"This is over the line," complained Democrat presidential frontrunner<BR>Howard Dean, himself a confirmed Metrosexual. "He can take our issues, he can outspend us, he can fraternize with Ted Kennedy.<BR><BR>"But that breastfeeding stunt? That was a cynical political ploy if I ever<BR>saw one."<BR><BR>Dean, who has merely been accused of pandering to the gay vote, the<BR>Confederate-flag-in-pickup vote, the UN-first vote, and the<BR>fair-trial-for-Osama vote, concluded, "How the hell am I supposed to<BR>compete with someone who's a conservative and a liberal? A cowboy and a nursemaid? A white !
man and
America's first Hispanic female president?"<BR></P></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE><p><hr SIZE=1>
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