[Vision2020] Unheeded Warnings ABout Christ church - August posts
Douglas Stambler
ccm_moscow@yahoo.com
Thu, 14 Aug 2003 08:41:02 -0700 (PDT)
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REMEMBER, MOSCOW:
I TRIED MANY, MANY TIMES
TO WARN YOU
ABOUT DOUG WILSON
AND CHRIST cHURCH CULT.
**************************************************************************************************
This is a repost for a really unintelligent employee at First Step Internet (not surprising that she works there). She actually thinks that the following repost was written with myself in mind. Honestly, Moscow, I liked it better when the hicks ruled the roost on the Palouse, because the tech-heads and the Bible scholars are just SO totally stupid when it comes to practical, everyday, common sense. Anyway, this is like the 2nd explanation for Ms. Frederiksen, who actually turns out to be a real dunderhead in person, too!
In Christ,
Douglas Stambler
****
Dear Visionaries:
I have had it up to here with the antics of those who call themselves the neo-liberals of this community. I have decided to have all of these dissenters whipped, chained and pilloried outside New Saint Andrews in Friendship Square. My colleague, Doug Jones, will administer the punishments, and I assure you they will be first-rate and totally uncalled for. Those of you who are unhappy with the way the Credenda mercilessly satirizes even the most devout of Christians, will also be glad to know, that we will have a specially reserved area in Friendship Square, reserved for all offending priests, pastors and independent preachers. I have said this before, and I will say this again to all of you here on the Vision 2020 Forum: I will not tolerate anyone disagreeing with me, and all of you will be whipped, chained and pilloried as soon as humanely possible outside New Saint Andrews Cathedral in Friendship Square. Bohemians first, then the rest of you. I will be king of Moscow..!
.I will
be king of Moscow...I will be king of Moscow.
Cordially, Douglas
***
Boy, that was from April. And look: The CULT is ACTUALLY taking over Friendship Square, with their Chris Schlects and Paul Kimmels roaming the Zume grounds like waifs waiting for a nod from Hitler himself...but I guess Herr Doug Wilson will do instead of Adolf himself. "We're waiting for Doug Wilson to hand out weapons, so that we can really kill in the name of Christ," those hypocrites seem to be saying.
Christ church: the best reason people in the Palouse can come up with these days for NOT becoming a Christian.
-Douglas Stambler
(not to be confused with doug wilson...)
*************************************************************************************************
"Darth Wilson Strikes Back"
screenplay by Douglas Stambler
(theme music: Darth Wilson's March - also known as the theme from Cheers)
Darth Wilson: Are the 19 year old young men ready yet?
Herr Kimmell: Not yet, sir! Still in the indoctrination stage of their mind programming.
Darth Wilson: Did you show them the film, Clockwork Orange yet?
Herr Kimmell: Yes, sir. And we flashed them pictures of you drinking beer, too, sir - right in the middle of the film.
Darth Wilson: (evil laugh) Mooo-ha-ha!! I will have their souls yet, AND their tuition money!
Herr Kimmell: Vera White called, sir, she says she'd like an interview for her column.
Darth Wilson: (confused) Did you tell her that I never grant interviews to women, homosexuals or them African types?
Herr Kimmell: (scared) Yes, sir, but she insisted. She said that she just has to see your
beard in person.
Darth Wilson: SHE SHALL HAVE MY BEARD, AND EAT IT, TOO!! Herr Kimmell: (rubbing his hands, counting the change in his khaki slacks) Yes, sir, yes! I think I have enough here to call her on the phone.
Darth Wilson: Have her wait for me in the beer hall: She WILL submit to the elders of my church, my wonderful, all-powerful, empty-headed church!!
Herr Kimmell: (voice like a rat) Yeeessss, ssiirrr! Yess. She will be like Swiss Cheese for us, and the congregation will make a sandwich of her!
Darth Wilson: You're an idiot, Kimmell! Get out of my face. (breathes forcefully through his big, black helmet) I will be king of Moscow, I will be king of Moscow, I will be king of Moscow! (pounds his fist into his other hand) I WILL BE CHIEF MOOSE OF THE PALOUSE!! AH AHAHA HAAHAHHHHH!!!!!
****************************************************
(meanwhile, at the Moscow Food Co-op)
Garret Skywoosie: (in a kid's voice) If we just attach the antenna to the dumpster behind the food co-op, I think we can get Radio Free Moscow up and running in no time.
Boob Hoffman: Did you cash that check for 45 cents that Tom Hansen donated for the cause?
Garret Skywoosie: Oh, crud! I must have washed that check with my hipster jeans. It's gone, Boob, all gone.
Boob Hoffman: All right, then, we'll just have to make do with these clothing hangers I stole from Ecclectica.
Garret Skywoosie: Sounds like a plan, man. Say, do you think that Peter Basoa will ever run a radio station again?
Boob Hoffman: Not if I can help it. If those strokes didn't finish him off, then we'll just confiscate his Fedora hat and sell it for auction at the Food Co-op to raise money for Kendra's Eyelash Transplant.
Garret Skywoosie: Oh, praise the gods. She'll finally have a decent pair of eyelashes to wear in the store.
Boob Hoffman: Come on, we need to get back to the van, so that we can begin transmitting.
Garret Skywoosie: (philosophically) But I am an atheist! How can I praise the gods? Oh, never mind. (scurries off)
*****************************************************
(inside Darth Wilson's beer hall)
Vera White: And you promise never to throw eggs at my house again?
Darth Wilson: I promise. Okay, so now we go after Stambler.
Vera White: Right. The guy is totally a nuisance. Why, I tried being nice to him once (starts sobbing)...and, and...
Darth Wilson: Yes? (sentimentally) What, Vera, what, talk to Darth "Papa Calvin" Wilson.
Vera White: Well, he freakin' rejected me, like a cheap ho.
Darth Wilson: But Vera...
Vera White: Yes, I know what I am! Yes, I know what I've done, but NOBODY REJECTS ME, NOBODY!! I will have that boy's ponytail, and I will play pin the tail on the donkey with it!
Darth Wilson: Uh, Vera?
Vera White: Yes, Darth?
Darth Wilson: I already have Dale Courtney taking care of that. He applied for a federal grant last year for surveillance equipment to keep an eye on our beloved "lunatic prophet," and he should have his ponytail any day now. (Dale Courtney enters with AK-47 firmly in his butt)
Dale: Sir.
Darth Wilson: What is it, Courtney? Can't you see that I am showing Vera White my beard? Anyway, sit down with us, have a beer.
Dale: But sir...
Darth Wilson: What is it, Courtney?
Dale: Reports are that the brainwashing on Mayor CONstock didn't take, and that he has joined Stambler and the other revolutionaries at Friendship Square.
Darth Wilson: (pounds the long, beer hall table) BUT!! We have to stop them. No one takes back Friendship Square. I have a secret camera mounted to take pictures of all the lovely young men who come by, so that I might quote Scripture to them and boggle their minds in my private study at a later time! We must hurry. (Dale, Vera and Darth Wilson exit hastily)
**********************************************************************************************
(TO DOUG WILSON)
Every word you gossip out of your mouth about me, the Lord is listening to you, and will respond to those sins according to the gossip that comes out of your mouth.
Remember that, Doug. The Lord knows your sins: You can't hide from Christ. And to speak against a prophet is a sin.
You can't harm me, Doug. You can't stop what the Lord is doing against you and your church.
I have an image about you: That you were standing on scaffolding, and have fallen off, now wriggling on the ground unable to stand up again.
THE LORD KNOWS YOUR SINS. YOU ARE AN EVIL MAN.
this is your daily reminder from me...
In Christ,
Douglas Stambler
************************************************************************************************
Just when I thought there was no more to say about Doug Wilson, I have to say this:
I HONESTLY THINK THAT DOUG WILSON IS DELUSIONARY.
Does he consider himself some kind of a great reformer of the American, evangelical tradition? If he does, just one look at the Canon Press website demonstrates that this man is NOT a Christian. There are titles there like, "AGAINST CHRISTIANITY," and even a book that spends over 100 pages satirizing the Left Behind series.
Again, I don't care what you all think of me, "lunatic prophet" or not.
Just look at the Canon Press website, http://www.canonpress.org , and you'll see that Doug Wilson really is walking the wrong direction.
I sort of feel SO sorry for this man and the people who seem to worship him. He really has spent many years building up delusions about his own importance in the Christian world.
At least my "delusions" are virtual: Doug Wilson's DELUSIONS have been spread all over the country.
How sad. So, so sad.
In Christ,
Douglas Stambler
****************************************************************************************
Doug Wilson's church is falling, and I'm going to need assistance in helping members of his church move away from that twisted theology of his.
Please e-mail me if you would like to contribute to a newsletter to his church members, after the church falls.
Thanks.
In Christ,
Douglas Stambler
(Pullman, WA)
****************************************************************************************
---------------------------------
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<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=5>REMEMBER, MOSCOW:</FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=5>I TRIED MANY, MANY TIMES</FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=5>TO WARN YOU </FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=5>ABOUT DOUG WILSON</FONT></STRONG></P>
<P align=center><STRONG><FONT size=5>AND CHRIST cHURCH CULT.</FONT></STRONG></P>
<P><FONT size=2>**************************************************************************************************</FONT></P>
<P><FONT size=2>This is a repost for a really unintelligent employee at First Step Internet (not surprising that she works there). She actually thinks that the following repost was written with myself in mind. Honestly, Moscow, I liked it better when the hicks ruled the roost on the Palouse, because the tech-heads and the Bible scholars are just SO totally stupid when it comes to practical, everyday, common sense. Anyway, this is like the 2nd explanation for Ms. Frederiksen, who actually turns out to be a real dunderhead in person, too!<BR><BR>In Christ,<BR>Douglas Stambler<BR> <BR>****<BR>Dear Visionaries: <BR><BR>I have had it up to here with the antics of those who call themselves the neo-liberals of this community. I have decided to have all of these dissenters whipped, chained and pilloried outside New Saint Andrews in Friendship Square. My colleague, Doug Jones, will administer the punishments, and I assure you they will be first-rate!
and
totally uncalled for. Those of you who are unhappy with the way the Credenda mercilessly satirizes even the most devout of Christians, will also be glad to know, that we will have a specially reserved area in Friendship Square, reserved for all offending priests, pastors and independent preachers. I have said this before, and I will say this again to all of you here on the Vision 2020 Forum: I will not tolerate anyone disagreeing with me, and all of you will be whipped, chained and pilloried as soon as humanely possible outside New Saint Andrews Cathedral in Friendship Square. Bohemians first, then the rest of you. I will be king of Moscow...I will be king of Moscow...I will be king of Moscow. <BR><BR>Cordially, </FONT><FONT size=2>Douglas<BR>***</FONT></P>
<P><FONT size=2><BR>Boy, that was from April. And look: The CULT is ACTUALLY taking over Friendship Square, with their Chris Schlects and Paul Kimmels roaming the Zume grounds like waifs waiting for a nod from Hitler himself...but I guess Herr Doug Wilson will do instead of Adolf himself. "We're waiting for Doug Wilson to hand out weapons, so that we can really kill in the name of Christ," those hypocrites seem to be saying. <BR><BR>Christ church: the best reason people in the Palouse can come up with these days for NOT becoming a Christian. <BR><BR><BR><BR>-Douglas Stambler<BR><BR>(not to be confused with doug wilson...)<BR><BR></P></FONT>
<DIV><FONT size=2>*************************************************************************************************</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>"Darth Wilson Strikes Back"<BR>screenplay by Douglas Stambler<BR><BR><BR>(theme music: Darth Wilson's March - also known as the theme from Cheers) <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: Are the 19 year old young men ready yet? <BR><BR>Herr Kimmell: Not yet, sir! Still in the indoctrination stage of their mind programming. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: Did you show them the film, Clockwork Orange yet? <BR><BR>Herr Kimmell: Yes, sir. And we flashed them pictures of you drinking beer, too, sir - right in the middle of the film. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: (evil laugh) Mooo-ha-ha!! I will have their souls yet, AND their tuition money! <BR><BR>Herr Kimmell: Vera White called, sir, she says she'd like an interview for her column. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: (confused) Did you tell her that I never grant interviews to women, homosexuals or them African types? <BR><BR>Herr Kimmell: (scared) Yes, sir, but she insisted. She said that she just has to see your <BR>beard in person. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: SH!
E SHALL
HAVE MY BEARD, AND EAT IT, TOO!! Herr Kimmell: (rubbing his hands, counting the change in his khaki slacks) Yes, sir, yes! I think I have enough here to call her on the phone. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: Have her wait for me in the beer hall: She WILL submit to the elders of my church, my wonderful, all-powerful, empty-headed church!! <BR><BR>Herr Kimmell: (voice like a rat) Yeeessss, ssiirrr! Yess. She will be like Swiss Cheese for us, and the congregation will make a sandwich of her! <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: You're an idiot, Kimmell! Get out of my face. (breathes forcefully through his big, black helmet) I will be king of Moscow, I will be king of Moscow, I will be king of Moscow! (pounds his fist into his other hand) I WILL BE CHIEF MOOSE OF THE PALOUSE!! AH AHAHA HAAHAHHHHH!!!!! <BR><BR>**************************************************** <BR>(meanwhile, at the Moscow Food Co-op) <BR><BR>Garret Skywoosie: (in a kid's voice) If we just attach the antenna to the dumpster behind th!
e food
co-op, I think we can get Radio Free Moscow up and running in no time. <BR><BR>Boob Hoffman: Did you cash that check for 45 cents that Tom Hansen donated for the cause? <BR><BR>Garret Skywoosie: Oh, crud! I must have washed that check with my hipster jeans. It's gone, Boob, all gone. <BR><BR>Boob Hoffman: All right, then, we'll just have to make do with these clothing hangers I stole from Ecclectica. <BR><BR>Garret Skywoosie: Sounds like a plan, man. Say, do you think that Peter Basoa will ever run a radio station again? <BR><BR>Boob Hoffman: Not if I can help it. If those strokes didn't finish him off, then we'll just confiscate his Fedora hat and sell it for auction at the Food Co-op to raise money for Kendra's Eyelash Transplant. <BR><BR>Garret Skywoosie: Oh, praise the gods. She'll finally have a decent pair of eyelashes to wear in the store. <BR><BR>Boob Hoffman: Come on, we need to get back to the van, so that we can begin transmitting. <BR><BR>Garret Skywoosie:
(philosophically) But I am an atheist! How can I praise the gods? Oh, never mind. (scurries off) <BR><BR>***************************************************** <BR>(inside Darth Wilson's beer hall) <BR><BR>Vera White: And you promise never to throw eggs at my house again? <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: I promise. Okay, so now we go after Stambler. <BR><BR>Vera White: Right. The guy is totally a nuisance. Why, I tried being nice to him once (starts sobbing)...and, and... <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: Yes? (sentimentally) What, Vera, what, talk to Darth "Papa Calvin" Wilson. <BR><BR>Vera White: Well, he freakin' rejected me, like a cheap ho. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: But Vera... <BR><BR>Vera White: Yes, I know what I am! Yes, I know what I've done, but NOBODY REJECTS ME, NOBODY!! I will have that boy's ponytail, and I will play pin the tail on the donkey with it! <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: Uh, Vera? <BR><BR>Vera White: Yes, Darth? <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: I already have Dale Courtney taking care of that. !
He
applied for a federal grant last year for surveillance equipment to keep an eye on our beloved "lunatic prophet," and he should have his ponytail any day now. (Dale Courtney enters with AK-47 firmly in his butt) <BR><BR>Dale: Sir. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: What is it, Courtney? Can't you see that I am showing Vera White my beard? Anyway, sit down with us, have a beer. <BR><BR>Dale: But sir... <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: What is it, Courtney? <BR><BR>Dale: Reports are that the brainwashing on Mayor CONstock didn't take, and that he has joined Stambler and the other revolutionaries at Friendship Square. <BR><BR>Darth Wilson: (pounds the long, beer hall table) BUT!! We have to stop them. No one takes back Friendship Square. I have a secret camera mounted to take pictures of all the lovely young men who come by, so that I might quote Scripture to them and boggle their minds in my private study at a later time! We must hurry. (Dale, Vera and Darth Wilson exit hastily)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2> <BR>********************************************************************************************** <BR></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>(TO DOUG WILSON)</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2> </DIV></FONT>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Every word you gossip out of your mouth about me, the Lord is listening to you, and will respond to those sins according to the gossip that comes out of your mouth.<BR><BR>Remember that, Doug. The Lord knows your sins: You can't hide from Christ. And to speak against a prophet is a sin.<BR><BR>You can't harm me, Doug. You can't stop what the Lord is doing against you and your church. <BR><BR>I have an image about you: That you were standing on scaffolding, and have fallen off, now wriggling on the ground unable to stand up again.<BR><BR>THE LORD KNOWS YOUR SINS. YOU ARE AN EVIL MAN.<BR><BR>this is your daily reminder from me...<BR><BR>In Christ,<BR>Douglas Stambler<BR>************************************************************************************************</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Just when I thought there was no more to say about Doug Wilson, I have to say this:<BR><BR>I HONESTLY THINK THAT DOUG WILSON IS DELUSIONARY.<BR><BR>Does he consider himself some kind of a great reformer of the American, evangelical tradition? If he does, just one look at the Canon Press website demonstrates that this man is NOT a Christian. There are titles there like, "AGAINST CHRISTIANITY," and even a book that spends over 100 pages satirizing the Left Behind series.<BR><BR>Again, I don't care what you all think of me, "lunatic prophet" or not.<BR><BR>Just look at the Canon Press website, </FONT><A target=_blank href="http://www.canonpress.org/"><FONT size=2>http://www.canonpress.org</FONT></A><FONT size=2> , and you'll see that Doug Wilson really is walking the wrong direction.<BR><BR>I sort of feel SO sorry for this man and the people who seem to worship him. He really has spent many years building up delusions about his own importance!
in the
Christian world.<BR><BR>At least my "delusions" are virtual: Doug Wilson's DELUSIONS have been spread all over the country.<BR><BR>How sad. So, so sad.<BR><BR>In Christ,<BR>Douglas Stambler<BR></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>****************************************************************************************</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Doug Wilson's church is falling, and I'm going to need assistance in helping members of his church move away from that twisted theology of his.<BR><BR>Please e-mail me if you would like to contribute to a newsletter to his church members, after the church falls.<BR><BR>Thanks.<BR><BR>In Christ,<BR>Douglas Stambler<BR>(Pullman, WA)<BR></FONT></DIV>
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